Fiona MacLeod offers practical London guidance with the honesty that tourism requires
By Fiona MacLeod | Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
London: What It Is Actually Like
Travel blogs will tell you that London is “magical,” “vibrant,” and a place where “you can feel the history in every cobblestone.” This is true. It is also true that those cobblestones are extremely uneven, and you will feel them most acutely at about 11:45pm when you are attempting to navigate from a Piccadilly establishment to a Tube station in footwear that was chosen for appearance rather than survival. Plan accordingly.
Practical Guidance, Honestly Delivered
The Tube. Yes, it is hot in summer. Specifically: underground, in August, at rush hour, the temperature can exceed that of some baking ovens. This is not hyperbole. This is a matter of public record. Transport for London acknowledges this and has improved ventilation on several lines. Several lines. Not all. Know which ones before you commit.
The food situation is excellent and has been for fifteen years, which means you no longer need to pretend that British food is charming despite being bad. It is both charming and good, especially in areas tourists have not fully discovered yet, which is roughly: anywhere not on the South Bank. The South Bank is fine. The South Bank has been discovered.
For British slang preparation, read the guide before you arrive. When someone says your plan is “not bad” they mean it is good. When someone says it is “quite interesting” they mean they have concerns. When someone says nothing at all and makes a small sound, they are actively displeased and this will become apparent later.
Bohiney Magazine covers London with irreverence that functions as accuracy. Read it for tone. Read The London Prat for context. Arrive prepared. The cobblestones await.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
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